|SIGNS OF ADDICTION
I have a theory that a teenage child - and yes they still are children in many ways - has little to fear from getting addicted as they encounter new vistas and change from phase to phase. The turmoil of change does not support being obsessed with any one thing for very long.
Recognise this and you can start to guide your child away from getting addicted. If they do then a solid grounding gives them strength to get through it - even years later.
Do teenagers develop bad habits ? YES they really do because they tend to act on autopilot - especially when withdrawn or rebellious which is a lot of the time. Addiction is another party entirely from the habit-go-round.
Here are some tips from a mother, heavily addicted to her addict family - bound by boundless love and an unerring knowledge that they are pulling through. She's seen it all and it's working out slowly but surely.
Children see their parents smoking. So they'll smoke. Now that is addictive and can suffer the adolescent years of do-wot-I-like-see. Quit smoking - that's that. So you'll get a few days of irritation - so what? You can cast active distain upon the filthy habit and the useless sucking expense - only when you don't do it. At all.
The fact is that children see everything. They are little and sometimes very small so naturally they have heightened senses and extra senses too. You can't lie to a child. they know. Looking into their eyes you can see they know that you know you lied. It shows to a child.
From what scientists believe we are in a different brain state when we are under six years old, however there are senses like Jacobsen's organ as yet unexplored. To quote wikipedia "The vomeronasal organ is mainly used to detect pheromones, chemical messengers that carry information between individuals of the same species, hence is sometimes referred to as the "sixth sense.".
In addition Bruce Lipton has shown us that our senses come mainly from our environment all our lives and are interpreted by experiences that imprint feelings to associate with our thoughts. Then they run us like programmes to instruct us how to behave in trigger-heavy circumstances.
It is important to know when observing our children, that they are taking everything in acutely even when, like cats, they don't appear to be observing us.
I always think that very observant parents make very good parents. They can often feed back to the child their observations about a child's behaviour that they may not have noticed themselves. Such as
"Jim you said you wanted to go out just after the phone call and you didn't want to go before that. I've noticed that with Lee you change your mind after a phone call".
"Never say 'always' or 'never' to strengthen your point."
I have to keep remembering this saying myself. It's the always or never that makes someone feel criticized.
It's best to get through rebellious undertones when you refer to your point in the present tense.
20 signs of drug taking in the house -
take a note:
• Little biits of Rizla packet or screwed up small bits of papers
• Increased slobishness - sometimes addicts trash the gaff
• Reduced desire to wash or put on clean clothes
• Cans of pop and nurishment show increased desire for addictive sugar
• Fascination with one page of the paper for hours
• Forever thinking up something to grumble about - sometimes witty but
• Long silences after a gentle question - sometimes too long
• Oh dear - disgustingly messy with food
• Sudden predilection for coco pops and weetabix - scrunchy floor
• Black moods and irritation - God forbid even rude street-large chat back
• Black marks around the light switch and on the fridge door
• Sudden urges for milk shakes and ice cream and chocolate biscuits
• Designer drink cans. Some of that stuff is rough
• Disappearing to the toilet often and staying there too long -and air freshner
• Wafts of smells and nuances the day after in the air somehow
• Complaints of sudden bouts of flu confined to bed rest
• Sloth - explained as being tired from 'lack of sleep last night'
• Always asking for a loan
• Loss of mobiles
• Lying - mostly blunderously badly.
When you observe accutely, then going through bins is hardly necessary. You see signs in the slightest things.
Take care though, you there is always the possibility that when you are always looking for signs then you will certainly create them happening.
This isn't a theory any more nor is it strictly 'new age'. It's as sure as facts is facts that thoughts are powerful forces. Therefore you need also to observe yourself and see how habitual blame may color your thoughts.
Addicts are hooked. If you deeply want them to stop you're hooked too.
You can talk about it. A haughty or knowledgeable air is not a good ground for a conversation. 'Judge not that ye be not judged' works.
People newly into drugs love talking about it. They are like someone having an affair. They swap stories with their buddies - so if you relax of course they'll talk to you.
It's always best to have a point of focus on your concern. like "cocaine is bad' Very.
That's the truth anyway. It strips out the heart and soul across the board. It can turn you into a psychopath if you do it a lot - especially crack cocaine. It's reversible but it takes a while without iboga rootbark which works much faster to reset some of those hair triggered neural pathways.
Meantime it is a common enemy. Make it so.
Addiction is obsessing to the point where you work up physical symptoms. by agreement with all the experts it is then a disease. And in a sense of dis-ease it certainly is. It is very uncomfortable to be around.
The worse the addiction the more likelihood of thieving. Be super aware and catch it early. Insist on having all the change from shopping they do on your behalf.
If you make loan do it for a term and insist on having the money back as a matter of principle or else make the loan a present instead.
Always raise an immediate stink about lost mobiles - this could well be the first sign they are getting tight for cash to the extent of being anti-social.
Stealing is unacceptable and ludicrous. No fuss, no issue. That's that. This stance is vital.
Addicts are lazy. They don't want lots of attention except when they want money. Especially core addicts of all forms of cocaine. Ruthless they are. All care and feeling is swept aside in the tsunami of desire. Desire for the feeling of being invincible and with full on dignity. The effect of the drug may wear off fast but that memory lingers on. That's what coke addicts seriously crave.
And why do they crave it? In a mood swing to despair the addict faces the void cold and alone. Their mind will be telling them 'what's wrong with some rescuing dopamines from such a seriously desperate condition.?'
Activity and sport are a great saver however the elixir there is drink. Pretty well anyone can tell a drinker aside from the smell. Drunks are invariably dorks.
The essence of addiction is that it is entirely selfish in appearance and yet the only agenda is the 'holy sick'. 'the craving' The monkey, the revolving door.
That's serious for someone with faulty logistics. Everything else is on the back burner and lies abound.
Cats meaow, dogs bark and addicts lie is the saying in the social worker circles.
Addiction is a badly lonely place to be and drugs are bad - the more they re habitually used.
I believe that dopamine balance in society today is tragically off centre. We are depressed by the press, the news is ghastly, we are hounded, fined by arbitrary rulings, computerized and allocated certain monies to spend. We are probably being messed around with by eating genetically modified foods and watching too much TV.
Society is depressed by a state of fear from ruthless enforcement and punishment - and society tells you the dopamine balance is way off. The French drink wine and they live long. Laughter on the tv is canned.
Addiction is doable and get throughable. It passes faster when there is not a catch ball game of trowing the hot potato of blame around. Parents who develop the humility to know that they are a part of the child's problem having lived their child's life for them for many years, can help their family.
Hence that particular potato is the easier to handle when you give guilt the big swerve. Guilt comes from going into blame of yourself and doing that will extrapolate any discomfort. Seeking peace while in a state of blame takes a great deal of energy.
A final word to parents. Always be truthful, have some humility and get on with your life as happily as you can. Watch for signs and take issue with the behavior - not the 'drunken dork 'or 'slothful junkie' as you will only imprint these things deeper upon them.
You want them to be happy? Then be happy and teach by example.
More news to follow.
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